So Amanda was up for the weekend. Actually, she was up for about 24 hours. But that’s neither here nor there.
We were meeting up with an old friend of hers for lunch at The Standard. The mall was packed, trying to find a parking spot was impossible. I don’t even mean trying to find a parking spot close to the door was impossible, just A parking spot was hard to find. I started ranting and raving about all the idiots that ignore the direction of the traffic flow in a parking lot. Those arrows and stop signs aren’t just suggestions, people! That was originally going to be what this whole post was about.. but then this happened.
After driving around for ten minutes, we spotted two cars pulling out. A van was waiting for one of the spots. They had gotten there only a few seconds before me. So being the polite and courtesy driver that I am, I let them choose which of the two spots they wanted. After they pulled into their spot, I started to move forward… then it happened. Out of now where, an SUV comes along and STEALS MY SPOT! I can’t quite explain the rage I felt at that moment. By the shade of green she was turning I could tell Amanda felt the same way.
“Beep your horn at them!”, Amanda yelled.
My car has a cute horn, it’s hardly intimidating. But I laid on that horn like my life was dependent on it. I don’t know if I thought my cute little horn would scare them into backing out of their spot, but I had to do something! Then the thief climbs out of the driver seat and doesn’t even look at me after she had the nerve to steal my parking spot. In some countries she’d have had her fingers and maybe tires removed for such an offense.
I put my window down and yelled at her, “Excuse me, but I was waiting for that spot for a good five minutes!”
“My sister’s in a wheelchair!” Billy the Kid yells back at me.
“There’s plenty of handicap spots up front, this is my spot!”
“Well, I don’t have a handicap tag.”
Amanda leans over and yelled out my window, “MOVE VANESSA HUDGENS!” (I later learned the reason Amanda climbed on to my lap to yell at these hoodlums was because she couldn’t figure out how to work my car’s automatic door or window. Vanessa Hudgens better thank god that technology tripped up Amanda.)
“You’re an asshole and this is MY SPOT!”, I throw a little more emphasis on my spot and to try to get my point across. Wheelchair or no wheelchair, that spot was mine.
She rolls her little eyes at me. At this point, I’m so angry over this parking spot I’m nearly shaking. Doesn’t she know the rules of the parking lot? Why isn’t this on the drivers test? Didn’t her mother teach her any manners? Wait, didn’t my mother teach me any manners… because here I am getting into a screaming match over a parking spot. But dammit, that parking spot was mine! I had to give up though, she had my spot and all I could do was go back to driving around in circles. I yell at her one last time, just because it feels good.. “WHATEVER MEGAN, THAT’S MY SPOT!” She looked like a Megan, okay?
For those wondering, YES her sister was in a wheelchair. But she had what appeared to be a broken ankle and was being pushed in a hand-me down wheelchair from her elderly grandmother. Hardly a legit excuse for being a thief. Next time drop Tiny Tim off at the door and find your own parking spot. Don’t make up excuses or use your sister’s cheerleading injury to take things that don’t belong to you. You aren’t the only one in this world with problems and if we all took what we thought was owed to us, we’d live in total chaos. Respect the rules of the parking lot.
And Megan? If you’re reading this, lemme see you again in a mall parking lot stealing spots… I’ll make sure Amanda’s door is unlocked. Better yet, just take the advice of Ice Cube … “You better check ‘yo self before you wreck ‘yo self.”