Ever take a look back on some of the most famous cartoon characters and think “why was this ever allowed on TV?” Is it possible that these toons have corrupted our minds to believe that the occassional fights are harmless and even quite amusing. Have we been telling our children that this is ok? Last night I sat back and wrote down some of the most violent and abusive characters in the history of television. It is with great pleasure that I expose these animated celebrities for who they really are: MONSTERS.
#10. Tasmanian Devil – Why would you trust ANYONE named after Satan?
#9. Mr Krabb – He may not be violent, but paying your co-workers 43 cents an hour is considered abuse. Try explaining that to the press and the BBDL: Bikini Bottom Department of Labor, you cheap crustacean.
#8. – The Hawaiian Punch Man– If you ask him for a drink, he will bust ‘yo face. Just get it yourself.
#7. Emyra Duff – Michael Vick ain’t got nothin’ on this chick.
#6. Miss Piggy – Ladies it goes both ways. I’m just glad Gonzo decided to speak up after all these years.
#5. Daffy Duck – AKA Ted Kaczinsky. NEVER except a gift from him, no matter how pretty the box is. There is TNT inside and you will explode.
#4. Tinkerbell – She snatches Wendy up, orders the Lost Boys to shoot her down, and is still able to be on every backpack in Wal-Mart. I’M obviously doing something wrong.
#3. Pepe LePew – Call the Pewlice. No means NO!!…Is he choking her?
#2. Bluto – Look at this. ‘Bout to put the smackdown on her, and yet she’ll go back to him as soon as Popeye can’t afford a lobster dinner. Then when he ties her to some traintracks, she’s gonna start yelling “Popeye SAVE ME”.
#1. The Rugrats Parents – Hi CPS? Yes, I’d like to report a case of parental negligence. Yes… the children are in constant danger. The youngest of the group, Thomas uses a screwdriver to escape from his playpen and then hides it in a week old diaper. Where’s the guardian? No one ever knows. Can you send someone over?
It’s time that parents start taking responsibility and monitoring what their children are watching. At the same time, I kinda like the fact that I can use this as an excuse for my constant bar fights.